It’s natural to carry expectations into a mentoring relationship. You may hope for deep conversations, visible growth, or a clear sense of impact. When the relationship doesn’t unfold that way, it can be tempting to assume something is missing. Not every mentoring relationship looks the same. Some are talkative. Others are quieter. Some grow through conversation; others through shared activities or simple presence. Letting the relationship be what it is doesn’t mean lowering your care. It means releasing the idea that it has to match a particular model to matter. Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is meet the relationship exactly where it is.
Reflective question:
What might become possible if you stopped comparing this relationship to how mentoring “should” look?
Sources:
Freire, Paulo. Pedagogy of the Oppressed — dialogical, dignity-centered engagement.
Rhodes, Jean E. (2005). A Model of Youth Mentoring. Journal of Community Psychology.
Bryk, Anthony S., & Schneider, Barbara. (2002). Trust in Schools.
